Today begins a short series about discernment.  Though this is my personal experience, each of us make choices daily.  It is my hope that in sharing this it will encourage others on their journey towards God.

     All of  us at some level or another are making decisions and trying to determine whether or not they are right for us at the time.  Many times they are seemingly trivial, while at other times they can be quite substantial and life impacting.  The experience that I will describe certainly has been life impacting and was no small decision in my life.  Parts of the question that I was considering had been swirling around in my life from the time that I first put my faith in Christ, more than thirty years ago.

     I was in high school in the mid seventies and having accepted Christ, I had a strong desire to know his word, and to serve him.  I believed at the time that I should become a military chaplain, which would require college and more specifically seminary.  But I did not follow through with this for a variety of reasons and instead I worked, got married two years after high school and within seven years we had a child.  I did take some college classes periodically, and I did join the military, but I became a hospital corpsman.  I was caring for my family and while in the military I finished my bachelors degree.

     All the while the question about seminary and chaplaincy continued to come into my heart and mind.  Towards the end of my enlistment I applied for a chaplain candidate program and was accepted.  Now I was thirty one and had two kids, but being accepted in this program meant that I would need to attend seminary.  I applied and entered into a local seminary and quit within the first few weeks of school.  I was working full time and finances were not available for school.  I was praying and yet nothing seemed to help me continue with what I had finally started.  I questioned it all and given the circumstances I stopped.

     What was going on?  Was it the right thing to do?  Had I just given up?  did I not have enough faith?  These were some of the questions going on in my head, but life continued on.  I got into the rhythm of work and family. I got older and yet the question of school and call still stuck with me.

     In the year two thousand, I became acquainted with a caring ministry, which is called Stephen’s Ministry.  I first became involved by having a person or Stephen’s minister for myself.  I had some ongoing struggles with my teenage daughter and needed someone to talk to.  Shortly thereafter, I took the training and became a Stephen’s minister myself.  It was a great fit for m as a person as I was able to come alongside another and be there to care for them.  As part of that ministry I had the opportunity to travel with at team to Thailand and teach listening skills to women who had once been enslaved as sex workers and now were caring for other young women who themselves were in that situation and rescued from it.  The whole trip spoke to me and I questioned and journaled my whole time there, wondering what God was doing with it , in my life.

     I continued as a Stephen’s minister and then in two thousand two I began working with a life skills coach.  Working with the coach once again stirred the question of seminary and call within me.  What began to happen was people affirming a call on my life.  It was not as a chaplain however, and did not necessarily require a seminary education.   It was to the ministry of spiritual direction.  At the time I had no idea what that was.  All I knew was that as a Stephen’s minister that was how I was operating.  I was not functioning in the conventional role as a Stephen’s minister, everything for me was a bout the spiritual realm and wondering or helping them to see where God  was in it all.  People who knew me began to more and more affirm this for me and I too felt within me that it was the right fit.

     Tomorrow we will continue with this personal reflection.  If you notice God was and is always faithful.  God leads, and the mixture of what you are experiencing and the affirmations that you receive are used many times by the Spirit to guide you.

Picture: Crossroads, by Dominic’s pics