Over the next couple of days, I will share some of my thoughts on prayer, theology, and my relationship with God. My hope is that it will cause you to take time to consider your time with God. For all of us our prayers and relationship with God changes through time. There is an ebb and flow based upon our connection to God and the things in life that we have experienced or are currently experiencing.
As I begin to reflect upon prayer and what it means to me both in my life and in the ministry of Spiritual Direction, many thoughts and feelings come to mind. I know for example that over time it changes and dependent upon what is happening in my life or in the life of otherws it may take on a greater or lesser importance in my life. However, a prayer that I consistently make is that God would show me more of who I am, more of who He is and more of who I am in relationship to Him. As I continue on my journey this prayer becomes more of the focus of my life. This is quite a change from what prayer looked like for me in the beginning.
As to prayer and its relationship to my ministry of Spiritual Direction, I feel very strongly that spiritual direction is very much a form of prayer and that apart from this type of posture it would not be spiritual direction. One of the purposes of this reflection is to show how prayer and theology play out in my relationship with God, and to share my curent practice of prayer and how it relates to my ministry. In sharing, I will include thoughts about who God is in the experience of prayer and who we as humans are in this relationship.
I must admit that there was a time when I thought of theology in more of an abstract way. What I mean to say is that it was an area of study like philosophy or psychology and at times it did not impact me in a practical way. As I have since realized though, the very questions that I began to ask in prayer have very much to do with theology. In particular, my personal theology about God, myself and the world. Roberta Bondi states:
Many folks think of “real” theology primarily as abstract and speculative talk about God and God’s ways, and the more abstract and speculative and universal it is the more serious it is. The fact is, nothing could be further from the truth. Like prayer, the work of real theology is saving work; it is about learning to see God and to understand reality and ourselves as we really are in order that we may grow and thrive and become the loving people God wants us to be. Prayer and theological reflection vitally need each other; they are two parts of a whole that cannot be separated.
I never cease to be amazed at how God has moved and changed me through time and is continuing to do so. Though I typically attach male descriptions to God I realize that God is not limited by my descriptions, names, or perceptions that I have been raised with in my life as a believer. God encompasses so much more than I can imagine. God to me, is certainly the creator of the universe as we know it, and all that it contains or has its life and breathes in it. God too, is the one who created us and who has continued to pursue us through time. We have been created in God’s image and have within us a connection or desire to relate to God, that until we acknowledge God we try to satisfy in other ways. God is also our provider, protector, sustainer, lover and friend. God has pursued us to the extent that he became flesh in the person of Jesus Christ to die for us. This is how much that the creator desires to be with us, and when we pray we are engaging and encountering the very one who created and loves us.
Anthony Bloom writes, first of all, it is very important to remember that prayer is an encounter and a relationship which is deep, and this relationship cannont be forced either on us or on God. Just as with any other relationship we can choose to be there or not. God also is under no obligation to show up, though I suspect that God is ever present and we either do not realize it, choose to ignore it, or don’t acknowledge it.
This being said, I do beleive that there is a pulling or drawing within us that would call our attention to the Divine. We may not respond due to distraction, resistance, or even ambivalence. Bondi states, I believe now that it was because in my heart there was an innate, God -given yearning for God that allowed me to know it. But the question of what this religious impulse is still remains. As a created being I need to tune into the source of this yearning in order to recognize and respond appropriately. But this yearning or desire prompts me to embrace God in prayer. In their book, “Primary Speech: A Psychology of Prayer”, Ann and Barry Ulanov address this desire. They write,
All prayer begins with desire. Desire comes in many forms. At its best, desire in prayer is what Augustine calls an affectionate reaching out to God. We long for contact, for connection at the center, that grounding that brings full-hearted peace of mind and soul. We want to be in touch with what lives in every thing that matters, with what truly satisfies, with what Kierkegaard sees as commensurate in its intensity of presence, with the intensity of our desire.
What do you think about prayer? How does your theology impact your prayer or vice versa?
Picture: One of these prayers is mine, by ButterflySha
Quotes: Roberta Bondi, In Ordinary Time: Healing the Wounds of the Heart
Ann and Barry Ulanov, Primary Speech: A Psychology of Prayer
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